Tesla Lays Off Entire Team Behind Brakes

[Zorro]

AUSTIN, TX—In the latest round of layoffs for the company’s struggling automotive division, electric vehicle manufacturer Tesla fired the entire team behind brakes, sources confirmed Wednesday.

“As we continue to rightsize the Tesla workforce, we have come to the decision that stopping the car is no longer a critical function,” said CEO Elon Musk, whose announcement came as a shock to the team of 500 Tesla workers responsible for the electric vehicles’ braking systems.

“As the brakes never really worked anyway, we figured the team’s existence was redundant. Going forward, none of our models will be outfitted with brakes. Instead, we will shift our efforts to making fart noises louder.”

At press time, Tesla staffers responsible for wheels were reportedly nervous after receiving an ominous meeting request from HR.

https://www.theonion.com/tesla-lays-off-entire-team-behind-brakes-1851449223

[haele]

1. Oh, wow. Almost bit.

Fortunately, I like onions. Sauteed with 'shrooms or baked with Parmesan and sourdough bread crumbs.
Haele

[usonian]

3. ON a more serious note: Elon Musk is throwing his weight around Tesla, comes in like a wrecking ball

https://electrek.co/2024/05/01/elon-musk-throwing-weight-tesla-wrecking-ball/

Feel free to post it as an OP.

I have other things to do (and post)

Cheers.

Spoiler alert:

[GenThePerservering]

4. Oh man, I feel sorry for the staffers on the Wheel Team

Eloon will decide they don't need to go 'round and 'round but instead work on the squared circle principle.