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Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsThis is for "English was my major" nerds. Others nerds like me may enjoy it too. Not my creation, either.
Consider yourself schooled 😉
An Oxford comma walks into a bar where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.
A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.
A bar was walked into by the passive voice.
An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.
Two quotation marks walk into a bar.
A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.
A question mark walks into a bar?
A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.
Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."
A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.
A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.
A synonym strolls into a tavern.
At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.
A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.
Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.
A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.
An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.
The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.
A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned a man with a glass eye named Ralph.
The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
A dyslexic walks into a bra.
A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.
A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.
A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.
A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.
brush
(53,998 posts)erronis
(15,505 posts)This reminds me of one my wiser/older sister told me when I was too young:
What did one gene say to the other?
Let's get together and conjugate.
Of course in my prepubescent mind, "gene" was read as "jean" and "conjugate" was meant as ... I guess since I have to explain this, I now understand why nobody laughs when I try to repeat it. You're only 12 once (I hope.)
Redleg
(5,864 posts)In fact, having grown up in Utah, English is a second language.
soldierant
(6,981 posts)you really had me at "Ralph." Fortunately i had nothing in my mouth.
ShazzieB
(16,703 posts)Some are more challenging than others, but all are funny once you figure them out. Especially the glass eye named Ralph!
3catwoman3
(24,166 posts)...an English teacher or copy editor in a previous life - I'm definitely a language/spelling/grammar nerd.
This was very entertaining.
I just finished a continuing education module on breast feeding, and it misspelled "weaning" as "weening." Aauuugggghhhhh!